It's Complicated

When I was in junior high I loved Avril lavigne's song "Complicated." and most appreciated the first line of the chorus, "Why do you have to make things so complicated?" I have been saying that to myself for years, and recently the thought has constantly been on my mind--among many other things. I have been going through a rough time lately, perhaps because school is really beginning to get stressful and since there are only a few weeks left and too many projects, papers and tests to think about; I have become overwhelmed--which really shouldn't come as a big surprise to me or to anyone who knows me. Still, sometimes I wish I wouldn't worry about everything as much as I do . . . make things more complex than they actually need to be.

I guess I really need to get some perspective on life right now. I need to remember how far I have come and how blessed I am. Although my life is not perfect--as it never will be--I am generally doing ok. Although I have difficult days I am trying to remember that everyone has those kind of days. Maybe this fact seems obvious to most people, but for most of my life I truly believed that perfection was possible. This belief has been a source of great stress and frustration over the years. In the past six years or so I have been actively trying to fight against my perfectionism, because it truly has hindered my growth in many ways. I know perfectionism can make life more difficult than it should be--it is one of my stumbling blocks that I will probably struggle with my whole life.

I know I need to be more patient with myself and with life in general right now. Sometimes I wish that life could be more simple and easy to navigate, and maybe it is. It is likely that I am complicating things so that I feel more pressure, stress, and frustration about life than is really necessary. I need to remember why I named this blog "The Inevitable Dawn." It was because I have a testimony of the fact that despite all the darkness in life the dawn will inevitably come. I know this to be true . . . so I need this to be a comfort to my soul.