Sometimes I wonder what I am doing with my life. I wonder why I worry about so many things, especially about exams in school. I wonder why being “perfect” in school is so important to me, even when I know what a small thing it is to have a high GPA and that there is so much more for me to do other than study. I wonder if I will be able to get a job when I graduate in three months, what I will do, where I will live. I am single and this makes my possibilities endless, and this is the reason why I am having such a hard time. I am taking a social psychology class this semester, and one of the first things I read was about the costs of excess choice. In my textbook it says, “With more choice comes information overload and more opportunities for regret,” which is why freedom to choose can be so overwhelming sometimes.
This is where I am right now, and it is such a strange place to be. I have so many things to be grateful for, and so many things to celebrate, like graduating from college. However, being the person I am, I tend to “look beyond the mark” and focus on all that is unknown in my future and it is a scary thing for me. I am trying hard to remain grounded in the strength I have gained, especially in this past year, and allow that to propel myself past all the stress and frustration I am currently feeling. Life is open for me, and although choices can be very scary they can also be liberating, if I make the right ones, so I need to try harder to find the positive and remember how far I have come.
