Praying to accept change

"It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power."

--Alan Cohen

Ever since I graduated and moved back home to Arizona I have thought a lot about the concept of change and how the "hellos" and "goodbyes" in my life, although numerous and constant, never seem to get easier for me to endure. I have tried to find comfort and peace in my faith and in my knowledge that I was meant to come home, at least for a few months. However, my efforts to accept the changes in my life have proven more difficult than I anticipated and I have yet to accept them. What I do know is that in order for me to move forward in my new life I must "embrace the new" in my life, as this quote suggests. I just hope that time will heal all of the "pains" I am currently enduring as I seek to find meaning in life without school.

San Francisco

My mother and I travelled to San Francisco on May 10-13. This trip was my main graduation gift from my parents and it was a BLAST! Although we didn't have many concrete plans before coming to the city we ended up "winging it" and were successful. Here are some of the hundreds of pictures we took as we explored the "City by the bay."

Just a random storefront that made me laugh. I am not sure whether I want to follow the advice, however.

This is me in front of Coit Tower, one of the tallest landmarks in San Fran. Since my mom and I didn't rent a car we hiked up the many stairs in order to reach the tower. It was a pretty good workout, but the view from the top was worth all of the climbing.

This picture is a view from the very top of Coit Tower. Being at the top reminded me of The Bachelor episode when he took one of the girls here and had dinner. (Don't judge me for watching this rather lame show).

The famous "Lombard Street." It was quite entertaining to watch all of the cars as they navigated their way through this curvy street.

We had lunch at the famous "Boudin" Restaurant--home of the amazing sourdough bread. Mom and I had the bread bowls with clam chowder and it was so good. I wish we would have been able to take a loaf of the bread home, but we really didn't have room for it.

Our greatest adventure was a bike ride over the Golden Gate bridge. We found out about this "blazing saddles" shop as we were walking over to Fisherman's Warf near lunchtime. I probably never would have done it but Mom thought it looked like fun and so we braved the wind and did it. It was totally worth the money.

This picture was actually taken when we got back to the shop after the two hour bike ride.

On the Golden Gate Bridge. The views were incredible since it was such a beautiful day.

As we headed to the bridge we had a girl take our picture. I wish we would have included our bikes in the picture, but at least you can see the bridge in the background. This adventure was one of the highlights of the trip and I would recommend it to anyone.

Of course a trip to San Fran would not be complete without a visit to Ghirardelli Square. You can see how happy I am to visit the chocolate shop. I have a MAJOR sweet tooth and so this place was the perfect site to have a treat after the long bike ride.

Our sundaes were so incredible that a picture was a requirement. My sundae was called the "Haight-Asbury" and supposedly it was the best thing on the menu, according to the guy who sold it to me. I must admit that it was the best sundae I can remember ever eating. YUM!

In Ghirardelli Square there was a cupcake shop. I took this picture in honor of my former roommate Stefi who is a cupcake queen. I miss her and her baking.

Near the end of our long day of touring we took a boat cruise that went under the Golden Gate Bridge and around Alcatraz. Although the trip reminded me of a Disneyland ride my mom and I enjoyed it immensely. It was quite windy outside, but we braved it anyway and had a lot of laughs.

Alcatraz Island, a.k.a "The Rock"

This is a homeless man somewhere around Fisherman's Warf who was having a ball scarring tourists as they walked past his fake bush. It was hilarious watching so many people get really spooked.

Touching the Pacific Ocean

At the end of the day we ate dinner at a place called "Greens," recommended to us by my mother's good friend. It was a vegetarian place near the beach and it was wonderful.

Highlight of day 2 and of the trip was seeing Wicked for the first time. I was so happy to be able to finally see the musical since I have been singing the music since I was a freshman in college.

Chinatown

"The Stinking Rose'--an awesome restaurant that has most everything with lots of garlic. So yummy!

Golden Gate Park

The famous "Summer of Love" street.

A fun mural in Haight-Asbury

I Include a picture of the bus we rode into Haight-Asbury because of the drama we witnessed on our way back to our hotel. Within a minute of boarding the bus a confrontation broke out between two passengers, which resulted in one getting orange juice poured on them by the other. After this happened the women who had the juice on her ran out of the bus screaming, "Call the Police," and the bus soon was out of service and we all got off. Crazy!

This was our doorman at the hotel we stayed at. He was extremely kind and funny.

To end our trip on a funny note this man on our flight home was having a bachelor party on board. To the surprise of all of us he came out of the bathroom at one point with only a speedo on as he handed out peanuts. The cameras came out super fast and I could not believe what I was seeing. This is certainly not something you see everyday. I laughed so hard.

I am a BYU graduate . . . FINALLY!

On April 22 and 23, 2010 I participated in graduation ceremonies for the BYU class of 2010. I received a Bachelor of Science degree in Psychology.

Here are some pictures that capture some of the many memories I made on those days.

Y-mountain

The day before graduation my mother took pictures of me around campus. It felt a bit awkward since I was the only one taking pictures, but it was nice not having to stand in line with the hundreds of other graduates at the more "famous" landmarks. This particular picture is taken on a bench next to the art museum gardens.

For my college convocation (Family, Home, and Social Sciences) we filed in through a couple of portals in the Marriott center. It rained that day and so we weren't able to come in through the tunnels on the ground floor.

My parents have been my biggest cheerleaders throughout all five years of my college education. They have always been there for me, and I love them so much.

My sister Gen came was able to come and support me. I love her!

I was so excited that my grandmother Darlene Evans came to my graduation. I have always felt a unique connection to her because my middle name is Darlene. As they called my name to receive my diploma I walked proudly, knowing that my namesake was in the audience. I love her more than I can describe and I will never forget that she was there to support me.

Even though there were over 6000 graduates I ran into two of my roommates (Lauren and Stefi) who also graduated. I love these girls and I miss them already.

As luck would have it, I also ran into Nicole Sheahan, one of the most amazing women I have met since coming to BYU. When I moved into Foxwood condos in 2009 she was my relief society president and we became friends quickly.

Anne Marie and I were in a psych class together this past semester and we worked on several group projects. I was so glad that we found each other before convocation so that we could sit together and keep each other company through the long ceremony.

"The World is Our Campus"

"Enter to Learn, Go Forth to Serve"

BYU has a "victory bell" that they let graduates ring after commencement. I braved the line and gave it a go . . . YEAH FOR GRADUATION!!

If you look closely you can see that this diploma is only a "sample." I feel great now that I know I finished all of my requirements, received passing grades--haha--and my "official" diploma will be mailed out next week.

After both ceremonies were over I took one last look at the Carillon Bell Tower that would play the hymn "Come, Come Ye Saints" at the top of ever hour. I remember getting annoyed at this when I was a freshman, hoping they would play something different. Now that I am done with college and have left BYU I have a deeper appreciation for this tradition.

The first two verses of this hymn have particular meaning to me:

Come, come, ye saints, no toil nor labor fear;

But with joy, wend your way.

Though hard to you this journey may appear,

Grace shall be as your day.

’Tis better far for us to strive

Our useless cares from us to drive;

Do this, and joy your hearts will swell

All is well! All is well!

Why should we mourn or think our lot is hard?

’Tis not so, all is right.

Why should we think to earn a great reward,

If we now shun the fight?

Gird up your loins; fresh courage take;

Our God will never us forsake,

And soon we’ll have this tale to tell,

All is well! All is well!

Now that the "party" is over I am quietly contemplating the future direction of my life. There is much ambiguity in what I am currently facing, and although it is not the most comfortable feeling in the world I am doing my best to face all the questions with faith.