Time for some rest

I finished my last final yesterday afternoon and I am still in a bit of shock that the semester is now over. The past few months have been very stressful for me, and I have put myself through a lot of craziness, but I am still standing.

I learned a lot in my classes, but I am excited that they are over. If you have ever talked to me about some of my classes this semester you know what "grief " I have gone through. It is amazing to me, however, how fast the stress has dissipated and I am now ready to give myself some much needed rest. . . at least until January 4th. This is when I start winter semester and my LAST semester before graduation.

WOW! Time has gone so fast.

P.S. I am leaving 30 degree weather to 70 degree weather! I love Arizona.

'Tis the Season

It is finally December which means fall semester is almost over and Christmas break is near. I love this season of the year. I love the decorations, especially the lights, and the chance to walk through the lights up at Temple Square and the Mesa, AZ temple--when I go home for my break. Although I am an Arizonan at heart, I enjoy the transition to colder weather--to see snow and be able to warm up inside with a blanket and some hot chocolate. I just wish it would start to really snow up here in Provo--although I might retract this statement in a few months, we'll see.

Gratitude, The Secret to Happiness

Today is Thanksgiving and so I have been reflecting on what I am personally thankful for.

-I have been blessed with a loving and supportive family, and I am indeed grateful for all they do: My wonderful parents, siblings, one niece, six nephews, uncles and aunts and many awesome cousins and grandparents (my grandmother Darlene who I share a name with, and my other grandparents who have passed on). I am eternally grateful for their faithfulness and that I am sealed with them.

-I am grateful for the opportunity I have to get an education at a wonderful university. I truly hope to "go forth to serve" when I graduate this coming April.

-I am grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ and that I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I have a testimony of its truthfulness and of the messages of hope and eternal happiness I have learned through being a member of this church. My testimony of the gospel, of The Book of Mormon--another testament of Jesus Christ, and of God and Jesus Christ have carried me through some of the darkest times in my life, and they also allow me to appreciate the good times even more fully.

-I am grateful for the beauty of the earth, for God's creations both large and small. There have been so many times where I see a sunset that takes my breath away, or notice the clouds and the shadows they make against the mountains where I live. Some people think it is weird that I can just stare out my window and look at the mountains, but I am in awe over their beauty, power, and majesty. Perhaps this is a bit overstated, but it is one thing in life that is so precious to me.

-I am grateful for my health, and for all the changes I've made in my life this past year that have enabled me to live more fully and with more peace and joy.

*I could go on and on with what I am grateful for, but I think I mentioned the most important ones here. Since I woke up this morning the words to a children's hymn "My Heavenly Father Loves Me,"have been going through my head and they relate to this post perfectly.

"Whenever I hear the song of a bird or look at the blue, blue sky, Whenever I feel the rain on my face or the wind as it rushes by. Whenever I touch a velvet rose or walk by our lilac tree… I’m glad that I live in this beautiful world Heavenly Father created for me.

He gave me my eyes that I might see the color of butterfly wings. He gave me my ears that I might hear the magical sound of things. He gave me my life my mind my heart; I thank him reverently, for all his creations, of which I’m a part. Yes I know Heavenly Father loves me."

-May this day and every day we take time to thank Heavenly Father for all the gifts He has given.

Stand

Rascal Flatts is one of my favorite bands. I love their songs. I can't remember when I first heard their song "Stand," but it has remained one song that I listen to when I am down and need some inspiration.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vm8711y6ILU&feature=related (This is a link to the music video on youtube. It is awesome!

Here are the words:

You feel like a candle in a hurricane
Just like a picture with a broken frame
Alone and helpless
Like you've lost your fight
But you'll be alright, you'll be alright

[Chorus:]
Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause its all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you Stand, Then you stand

Life's like a novel
With the end ripped out
The edge of a canyon
With only one way down
Take what you're given before its gone
Start holding on, keep holding on

[Repeat Chorus]

Everytime you get up
And get back in the race
One more small piece of you
Starts to fall into place

It's Complicated

When I was in junior high I loved Avril lavigne's song "Complicated." and most appreciated the first line of the chorus, "Why do you have to make things so complicated?" I have been saying that to myself for years, and recently the thought has constantly been on my mind--among many other things. I have been going through a rough time lately, perhaps because school is really beginning to get stressful and since there are only a few weeks left and too many projects, papers and tests to think about; I have become overwhelmed--which really shouldn't come as a big surprise to me or to anyone who knows me. Still, sometimes I wish I wouldn't worry about everything as much as I do . . . make things more complex than they actually need to be.

I guess I really need to get some perspective on life right now. I need to remember how far I have come and how blessed I am. Although my life is not perfect--as it never will be--I am generally doing ok. Although I have difficult days I am trying to remember that everyone has those kind of days. Maybe this fact seems obvious to most people, but for most of my life I truly believed that perfection was possible. This belief has been a source of great stress and frustration over the years. In the past six years or so I have been actively trying to fight against my perfectionism, because it truly has hindered my growth in many ways. I know perfectionism can make life more difficult than it should be--it is one of my stumbling blocks that I will probably struggle with my whole life.

I know I need to be more patient with myself and with life in general right now. Sometimes I wish that life could be more simple and easy to navigate, and maybe it is. It is likely that I am complicating things so that I feel more pressure, stress, and frustration about life than is really necessary. I need to remember why I named this blog "The Inevitable Dawn." It was because I have a testimony of the fact that despite all the darkness in life the dawn will inevitably come. I know this to be true . . . so I need this to be a comfort to my soul.

Called to Serve . . . in the fall!

This month I have had two of my first cousins leave to serve full-time missions for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and it has made me reflect on my personal testimony. I know that Jesus Christ lives! I know that it is only by him and through him that we can all be saved in the kingdom of heaven. I know that I am a daughter of God and that He loves me . . . and I cannot begin to describe how much I love him too. I am imperfect, but I am humbled that despite my imperfections God will never abandon me.

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf said in the last general conference, "Though we are incomplete, God loves us completely. Though we are imperfect, He loves us perfectly. Though we may feel lost and without compass, God’s love encompasses us completely."

I feel much comfort in these words, and I hope that everyone can feel it also.

I am so grateful for all those who serve full-time missions for the LDS church. I am humbled by their service, and I know that they are doing a great work. Seeing my cousins leave on missions reminds me of the love I have for my own brother, Jonny, who is currently serving a mission in Idaho. I am so proud of him for his decision to serve a mission, and I know that his service has not only blessed him, but has blessed his entire family.

Elder Philip Dangerfield, serving in Panama

Sister Sarah Evans, serving in Fresno, CA

I am now 23!

My birthday started out early . . . I drove up to Logan over the weekend to visit a good friend of mine and her family. It was my first time in Logan and I really enjoyed my stay. I got to sleep in, get a massage, go shopping with my friend, go out to dinner, and watch a couple of really good movies. It was a really short trip, but I loved being able to get away from the "BYU bubble."

This is a view from the balcony of my friend's home in Logan. It was so beautiful that I had to capture it. I love the red leaves of fall . . . especially because I grew up in Mesa, AZ where there really isn't a change of seasons.

This is me and my friend Keesha and her husband. They were so kind to let me stay at their home. They spoiled my by giving me presents and letting me "relax" at their home.

For my actual birthday, which was today, my roommates and I went out to dinner at Red Robin in Provo. It was our first official "roommate dinner" and we had a blast.

My roommate Susan was kind enough to decorate our apartment with streamers and balloons--which I didn't capture well-Anyway, I wanted to take a picture next to my cards and gifts that I received from my friend's and family. I am so loved!

My roommates made me cupcakes. You can't really tell from the picture, but they are Halloween-themed, complete with orange and black sprinkles, and creepy gummy candies in the shape of various body parts (i.e. thumbs, eyeballs, teeth). I love having a birthday in October!
After a wonderful monotone rendition of Happy Birthday (Thank you Bryce) I got to blow out the candles and make a wish. I won't tell you what I wished for.

What I will say is that I am very excited for this year. Although I always say this, I really believe that this will be a good year, mostly because I am choosing to have a positive attitude about it. I really have no idea what will happen, I just want to make the best out of what comes my way. I have a wonderful family and amazing friends who will always be there for me, no matter what. I consider myself extremely blessed, and I thank God every day for all He has blessed me with, and I know that the strength I have to get through each day is given to me by Him and through my Savior, Jesus Christ.

To end this post I will leave you with a portion of a poem my mother wrote,

"The present comes with power gained from counting out the cost

Of taking roads less traveled, or of finding what was lost.

Our daily trek will find us learning things both good and bad

But hope will come in our triumph over all the trials we've had.

The morning dawns, the sun comes out, the new day is ahead.

Let memory our comfort be when it's finally time to go to bed.

Looking back can be looking forward, in a very powerful way.

Remember, count your blessings and let God guide your steps today."

This past year has proven to be one of enormous growth for me, and as I look back upon all that I have endured I am amazed at what I have accomplished. Now I am looking forward to a new year. What will life surprise me with next?