"Living Life Beyond the Dreams"

HAPPY OCTOBER! (Hopefully it will feel like Fall soon)

*I apologize for the lack of posting for the past several months. There really isn't any good reason since I have had more free time in the past several months than I have had in years. I guess I have been constantly re-evaluating my life without school and whenever I would feel like posting some of my feelings I would analyze them too much and change my mind. I don't expect that anyone has really noticed, but I feel a bit guilty nonetheless.

Although it is October 1, here in sunny Mesa, AZ the high hit 106 again today. We have been having unseasonably warm weather lately, but I am hoping that it will cool down soon. Since I lived in Utah for the past few Autumns I had forgotten that the "seasons" are a little different here in the desert. Ah well, I need to remember to detach my emotions from the weather.

LIFE IS GOOD,

even despite the seemingly never-ending heat, and I have MUCH to be grateful for. .

I have been able to have a ton of fun with my family since I graduated and moved home. Although all of us "kids" are adults now, several of us moved home and we have a full house once again. There is A LOT of laughter and it has been so enjoyable and very good for the my soul. My family means everything to me and it has been great spending more time with them. I just wish I could see my married siblings and their families often too.

Just recently I came across a journal entry I wrote one year ago. I wrote about all of my worries regarding graduating and if I would have a job when I graduated (HA!), I also talked about once I graduated I would have to "learn to live beyond [my] dreams," since graduating from BYU was such a big goal my entire life. I chuckled when I re-read this because I have always tried to control and plan out my life, being constantly scared of living life beyond what I plan. No matter how often I remind myself that most things in life are out of our control I still do my best to predict success. I think God smiles when I do this.

I am so grateful for being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I am grateful for my knowledge of the Plan of Salvation, for my testimony of The Book of Mormon and of the reality of God and Jesus Christ. I feel overwhelmed with love and gratitude that I am alive today and that I was able to listen to God’s Spirit even in the darkest and most terrifying moments of my life. I am not sure why I was able to live when so many give in to the darkness, but I hope that I can honor God with how I live my life now since it is such a gift, and always has been.

I am continually humbled by my humanity and its accompanying weaknesses. (I seem to come across more of them lately : ) I know it is a temptation of mine to look on the negative side of this knowledge and wallow in sadness because of my many short-comings, but I am fighting this urge of mine. I am a child of God, and despite my humanity my weaknesses can become strengths if/when I “humble myself before [God], and have faith in [him],” as Ether 12:27 directs. I am doing my best to apply this scipture to my life so that I can become strong.

I must never forget to see the positives in life because there is so much light and goodness in the world today, even if I must look a little harder to find it.

Here's to really living life!